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Pacing Part 2: How To Create Suspense On Every Page (Without Exhausting Your Reader)

Read here--> Pacing Part 1: "The Most Common Mistake in Manuscripts (And How Rowling Avoided It)."

It's one thing to perfectly pace a scene and get your reader to turn a few pages. It's a whole other beast to grab their attention from the very beginning of the story and carry it all the way to the end. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone is 309 pages. 309. How in the world does Rowling get her readers from page 1 to page 309?

It's Like Running a Really Long Marathon

Pacing Part 1 looked at Rowling's short, fast-paced Chapter 3 and analyzed why it worked. Even though that chapter successfully hooked her readers, Rowling didn't just simply set the story's pace on cruise control from there. Why not? Well, imagine trying to run 309 miles in a dead sprint. It's like that.

Some writers think that the best way to keep their reader's attention is to go faster and faster until they smash right into the ending, but having too much suspense for too long is just as bad as not having enough. If there isn't an ebb and flow to a story's intensity, the reader will get exhausted and give up.

Look at how Rowling varies the intensity (e.g. the pace) of her story after Harry finally gets to read his letter.

Take a Breather

The two chapters after "The Letters from No One" are long and have relatively little action but a lot of dialogue. They're basically the exact opposite of Chapter 3. Here's a quick summary:

In Chapter 4, "The Keeper of the Keys," Rowling has Hagrid fill Harry in on a lot of wizarding stuff that he's missed out on in the past 11 years. It's most definitely not action-packed (except for Dudley acquiring a pig's tail - but even then, Rowling only spends 3 paragraphs on it).

In Chapter 5, "Diagon Alley," Rowling gives the reader a glimpse of Harry's new world, which involves a lot of description - she has him get a wand, visit Gringotts, meet Malfoy . . . again, it's pretty laid-back.

It seems like Rowling is taking a break in the action here to introduce new characters and set up her fantasy world. That's true to a certain extent, but, if that were all she was doing, her manuscript would've been dumped into the rejection pile. Remember: Without suspense, a book is sunk. It might not look like it (and a good writer knows that it's not supposed to) but Rowling still has suspense on every page in those two chapters. Just like the word "pace" is often misunderstood, so is "suspense."

You Don't Need Tom Cruise

Most people when they hear the word "suspense" think of something akin to Tom Cruise fighting 20 Russian spies while simultaneously disengaging a nuclear missile that's aimed at his face. If that were really the definition, then books like The Help (yes, it was a book first) about black maids in the 1960's working in white homes wouldn't stand a chance of getting published.

Suspense is about having loose ends in the story. It's about creating questions for the reader and making them care about the answers. Having no questions signals to the reader that there's nothing new to learn and that's where they'll shut the book. When Rowling relieves the suspense by letting her readers see what's in Harry's letter, she immediately loads them up with a bunch more questions. Here are just a few:

What's in the secret package that Dumbledore had Hagrid get from Gringotts?

What house will Harry be placed in?

Will Harry fit in at Hogwarts?

Why was Hagrid expelled from Hogwarts?

Who exactly is Voldemort? Why is he so bad? And why couldn't he kill Harry?

Rowling sneaked in all of that suspense while she was introducing characters and describing Diagon Alley. That sounds pretty easy, right? Just make sure that the reader always has unanswered questions? But what separates the good books from the great are these two vital components:

1. Where the questions come from

2. How the writer presents them

The Random Bar Brawl

First, the where.

After revealing to her readers the contents of Harry's letter, Rowling gives them their newest big question, What will Hogwarts be like and will Harry fit in?

Where does Rowling get this new question from? Does she just pull it out of thin air? No. It stems directly from the answer of her previous question (What's in Harry's letter?). This is what it means to have a seamless plot. The reader isn't consciously aware that she's moving on to a new question because that question answered the previous question (a little twilight zone for you). There are no bumps in the plot to distract the reader from enjoying the story.

Some writers think that if they pull something exciting out of nowhere and plop it on to the page, the reader will want to keep going to figure out how it got there. That's like having a bar brawl break out in the middle of a story about a nun living in a convent. That's not suspense - that's just confusing. Suspense builds from what has already happened.

If Rowling hadn't tied in her big new question to the fact that Harry was going to Hogwarts, she would've jolted her readers out of the story - like how your mind disengages from a show when the television screen goes fuzzy for a second. There shouldn't be any static in the story.

Drivers Ed for Writers

Now the how. How did Rowling present to her readers the latest round of questions?

Whenever a writer dishes out new questions, she also needs to help her reader prioritize them. Because Rowling always has a lot of questions hanging in the air at the same time (all great plots do), she needs to make sure that her readers know which one to focus on at that moment. Without that help, it's like her reader is trying to drive an obstacle course without any depth perception: Everything looks like it's the same distance away so she doesn't know what's coming at her first. It's frustrating and confusing - and it's a fast way to lose your reader. Luckily, the solution is simple.

The more focus you put on a particular question, the sooner your reader will expect that question to either be answered or at least play a major part in the story until it is answered.

What if Rowling had written those 7 suspense-filled scenes prior to Harry finally getting his letter, but then didn't have him actually open it until the middle of the novel? That’s bad news. Similarly, once she has the mystery switch from "What's in the letter?" to "What will Hogwarts be like?" Rowling doesn't just send Harry back home and have him get into a fistfight with Dudley. She's pointed her readers in the direction of Hogwarts and she'd better go there or she'll lose them; hence, she sends Harry to Diagon Alley.

Don't Toss Out the Scraps

Now what about all of the other questions Rowling has thrown out there? Like why Hagrid got expelled from Hogwarts? Even though Hagrid's expulsion adds detail to his character and adds another line of suspense for Rowling to draw on later, she lets her readers know right away that it isn't going to be pursued at the moment. Here's the conversation she writes between Harry and Hagrid:

[Harry] "Why were you expelled?"

"It's gettin' late and we've got lots ter do tomorrow," said Hagrid loudly. "Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an' that."

Having Hagrid ignore Harry's question signals to the reader that they should do the same for now too. (And notice that Rowling manages to not only tell her readers what's not going to be pursued right now, but also what is - Harry getting ready to go to Hogwarts.)

Why should an author bother having other little questions hanging around if she's not going to pursue them right away? Think of it like dropping cookie crumbs for the reader. When one of the little questions becomes the big question later on in the plot, it will seem much more believable to the reader because they've already been introduced to the idea. Rowling eventually does focus on Hagrid's expulsion in book 2, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, and she lets the reader know that it's now one of the big questions by having him thrown into Azkaban for it.

Putting It Into Practice

Now look at your manuscript:

Are you varying the intensity of your story? Is your reader exhausted? Bored?

Is there suspense on every page (e.g., does your reader always have questions)?

Do your questions make sense - do they complement each other?

Are you giving your reader direction in the story or are they just wandering aimlessly?

I always write a good first line, but I have trouble in writing the others.

~Moliere, French Playwright (1622-1673)

Pacing Part 1: The Most Common Mistake in Manuscripts (And How Rowling Avoided It)

Most agents will tell you that the biggest mistake they see in manuscripts is that the story isn't paced correctly. What do they mean by paced? The word sounds like it has to do with the speed of the story, but, if that's really what it meant, it wouldn't be the number one hang-up. A writer would just have to tinker with a description here, add some dialogue there, cut a scene, add a scene. Quick fix.

Don't think of "speed" when you hear pace. Think of "suspense" . . . . or "tension" - or whatever word you like best that means "the reader still has questions." If an agent says that a manuscript isn't "paced right," she's saying that the book lacks suspense. And without suspense, you're sunk - hence, it's a big problem.

WHAT IS SUSPENSE?

(I know this sounds elementary, but just give me a minute here.)

Suspense (tension - whatever you prefer to call it) is what drives a novel. It's what makes the reader sit on the edge of their seat and wonder what's going to happen next.

A lot of writers work tirelessly to develop a seamless plot and bigger-than-life characters - only to be devastated when their manuscript is rejected. It's wretched, I know, but it doesn't matter how amazing the plot or characters are if the reader won't turn the page.

So how does a writer create suspense? That's where pace comes in.

WHAT IS THIS ELUSIVE "PACE" YOU SPEAK OF?

Pace is basically how the writer unravels her plot, and she creates suspense largely by the pace she chooses. This is a very important concept: A writer creates suspense by how she paces her novel.

That is why pace is so important and why it's often a problem in manuscripts.

AN EXAMPLE

Rowling is a master of creating suspense and that's because she knows how to pace. A good example is Chapter 3 in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, "The Letters from No One." In this chapter, Rowling has Harry get his first piece of mail ever, but his Uncle Vernon is determined to prevent him from reading it.

First, Rowling has to convince the reader that this letter is even worthy of suspense. Here's how she does it:

1. She spends the previous two chapters making sure that the reader gets attached to Harry. The more attached a reader is to a character, the more they'll want to know what happens to them. Poor Harry gets his first letter ever and his toad of an uncle won't let him have it. The reader is empathetic and turns the page, hoping the author sticks it to the old man.

2. Rowling makes a big deal out of the letter. Suspense is proportionate to the importance of the event. This is another very important concept: Suspense is proportionate to the importance of the event. If the reader isn't aware that something is important, they're not going to care how it turns out. How does Rowling let her reader know that this letter is a big deal?

a) This is Harry's first letter - ever. Remember when you were a kid and got your first real piece of mail? It was exciting.

b) It's not just any old letter. It's unique. It's made of thick, yellow parchment; the address is written with emerald-green ink; it has a purple wax seal bearing a coat of arms, and the addresser knows exactly where he lives: "Mr. H. Potter, The Cupboard under the Stairs."

c) The most important part is Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia's reaction. It was a genius move of Rowling to prevent Harry from reading the letter but still have him watch the faces of his uncle and aunt. ("[Uncle Vernon's] face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights. And it didn't stop there. Within seconds it was the grayish white of old porridge.") Even better was when she had Harry listen at the kitchen door while they discussed it. ("I'm not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we'd stamp out that dangerous nonsense?")

Now that Rowling has conveyed to the reader the importance of the letter, how does she carry that suspense through the rest of the chapter? This is where pace comes in.

PACING

What if Rowling just had Harry go to bed and open his letter the next day? Talk about a buzz kill.

Or what if she didn't reveal the contents of the mysterious letter until halfway through the book? The suspense - and her audience - would've petered out a long time ago.

That's what it means when a manuscript isn't "paced right." So what is the right pace? Unfortunately (and fortunately), there's no scientific answer to that question because, when it comes down to it, writing is still an art. You figure it out along the way by watching how others have succeeded in the past, and then you practice it . . . a lot.

Here are 3 ways Rowling paced the chapter to build up the most suspense:

1. She wrote 8 quick, consecutive scenes (totaling 10 pages) that were solely focused on Harry trying to get his hands on that letter. These short bursts of action coupled with its narrow focus keep the reader interested and on the edge of their seat ("just one more page," they think).

2. The scenes get progressively longer and more elaborate as the reader gets more invested in the outcome; she's snowballing the suspense (but the last scene is still only 3 pages - short and direct).

3. Rowling has Uncle Vernon go to more and more desperate measures to thwart Harry. Eventually the family ends up in a dilapidated shack . . . on a rock island . . . in the middle of the sea . . . during a storm. This extreme setting only adds to the suspense because the reader more than ever wants Harry to get his letter, but it's never seemed more fruitless. (Success is more rewarding when the obstacles leading up to it are greater.)

WARNING!

If you build up something this much, you had better be ready to deliver. It's true that you can lose your reader by not having enough suspense, but it's just as risky to pile on truckloads of it only to give a ho-hum ending. Notice that when Rowling finally lets the reader see the letter, she doesn't just give them the letter. She has it delivered by a literal giant who not only comes crashing through the door but also magically puts a pig's tail on Dudley's rear end.

NOW WHAT?

Now that Rowling has successfully ended the reader's suspense about the letter, where does she go come from here? How does she get her reader to turn the page to Chapter 4?

That's for the next post - Pacing Part 2.

Why You Shouldn't Have a Prologue (And Why Rowling Did Anyway)

If there's a prologue in your manuscript, be aware that interested agents and editors will most likely try to talk you out of it. Prologues are out of vogue. They're seen as slow, cumbersome beasts that kill your book's chances before the story even begins.

Rewind to 1997.

Rowling's first book, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, is published with a prologue - Chapter 2 starts 10 years after Chapter 1 so it's a prologue, if not in name. It obviously didn't kill the book's chances, but was it necessary? Could the story have been stronger without it? Why or why not? It's important to ask critical questions of even the most successful books because - until you understand a rule and why it's a rule - you won't know when it's okay to break it.

That being said, here is how a prologue should NOT be used:

1. To introduce characters. A prologue should not be used to give characters a little alone time in the spotlight - no matter how important or special they are. A good way to avoid this pitfall is to look for action in the prologue: Is something happening? If not, kill your darling before your reader does it for you.

2. To "warm up" the reader. A book is not like baseball. In baseball, you most definitely should take a couple of swings before you get to the plate. But when it comes to your book, you better come out swinging on page one like you're Babe Ruth's long lost kid. Most writers open their book too early in the story. Figure out where the real action is and start there. Do not babble with a prologue - swing, baby, swing! (Find out if your first page has what it takes.)

3. To entice the reader. This is the opposite of trying to warm up the reader. You copy a chunk from an exciting scene in the middle of your book and paste it at the beginning (or you paraphrase it - but the idea is the same). This is usually a sign that your beginning needs an overhaul; if it's not interesting enough alone, then it needs work. (Stephenie Meyers' Twilight series includes just such a prologue [they call it a "preface" but, again, the idea is the same]. Her books obviously did more than fine. Rules are meant to be broken - just not often.)

4. To give background. This is probably the most abused reason for including a prologue. This might sound harsh but it's better to hear it now than read it on your rejected manuscript later: Most agents and editors see this as a lazy writer's way out. Instead of fitting the background into the story, the writer just dumps it all in the beginning so she can get on with it. This serves only the author, not the reader.

Now look at Rowling's prologue.

Chapter 1 is entitled "The Boy Who Lived." Here Rowling introduces the reader to the Dursley family and draws a connection between them and the main character, Harry Potter. She also gives the reader a glimpse of the world Harry is leaving behind and will hopefully return to someday. She writes the prologue from Mr. Dursley's point of view, while the rest of the book is solely from Harry Potter's. (Jumping POV's is typically a no-no as well, but, since Harry Potter is a baby in Chapter 1, there's really no way around it.)

What is the purpose of Rowling's prologue? Basically, it's to introduce characters and give some background.

What?!? But that's breaking the rules!

True. But why could she break the rules? Because she understood them. Her prologue had enough action and left the reader asking enough questions to convince them to turn the page. Simple as that. (Not to mention, prologues weren't so frowned upon back then.) Rowling could have just as easily incorporated her prologue into the rest of the story if necessary. Don't believe me? Think about all of the intricate backgrounds of Rowling's bigger-than-life characters that she somehow managed to relate without stopping the story.

When it comes down to it, writing is still an art. Yes, there's a science to it, but there's no checklist out there that can promise you a bestseller if you follow it slavishly. So learn the rules . . . but also learn how to break them.

Now look at your manuscript. Does it have a prologue? If so, step back and look at it with a critical eye. Ask yourself two important but basic questions:

1. Is it necessary? (Remember, most books published today don't have prologues, which means that most of them can survive without it, so be honest.)

2. If it isn't necessary, is it good enough that you won't lose your reader at the end of it? Because that's what matters.

If I'd observed all the rules, I'd never have got anywhere.

~ Marilyn Monroe

How Rowling Kept Her Manuscript Out of the Rejection Pile (And You Can Too)

Every week agents sift through overwhelming amounts of unsolicited manuscripts. Give them just one excuse to dump yours into the rejection pile and they'll take it. You have one sentence . . . perhaps one paragraph . . . maybe, just maybe - if the planets are aligned - the entire first page (but don't count on it).

So how did Rowling keep her manuscript out of the rejection pile?

Look at her first sentence in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone:

Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.

Mr. and Mrs. Dursley's insistence on being normal foreshadows to the reader that something abnormal is most certainly going to happen. This also conveys to the reader that the story will have action - and soon. (It's like a promise between the writer and reader: Keep reading and I promise something exciting will happen.)

Other small things that help the first sentence work:

1. Rowling introduces two main characters right away. (Specifics draw in the reader.)

2. She includes a specific location.

3. She gives the sentence a sort of "humanness" with the phrase "thank you very much" - as if the reader was being talked to directly.

The first sentence is a success - the agent is hooked . . . for now. Rowling moves on to the next level; she now has a whole paragraph to prove herself. What does she do with it? She writes:

They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.

Here Rowling deepens the foreshadowing. Whatever abnormal thing that's going to happen to the Dursleys isn't going to be something banal (like buying lutefisk instead of tuna at the grocery store); it's going to be something "strange" and "mysterious" (she's upping her promise). This makes the reader begin to wonder - to hypothesize in their mind what it could possibly be.

(Notice again that this sentence has some "humanness" with the phrase "they just didn't hold with such nonsense," as if the Dursleys were wagging their fingers at the reader.)

The agent decides to give the manuscript an entire page's worth of her attention.

Rowling spends a good chunk of that on the Dursley's background, illustrating to the reader just how normal (and boring) they are. It might seem like a precious waste of space writing about mustaches and garden fences, especially since she now only has one more paragraph until the agent either decides to turn the page or toss it, but that is the art of suspense.

Suspense is like a rubber band. If you keep it pulled taut the whole time, eventually it will just snap in half. Rowling takes a break to bring her characters to life. But she doesn't make the reader wait long - not so early in the story.

The very next paragraph, the last one of the first page, she writes:

The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it.

Now if you were the agent, would you toss the manuscript or would you give it just one more chance and turn the page?

Some writers are afraid of starting their story out with a bang. They worry that if they start big, they'll have nowhere else to go. But if a story has to hobble out of the gate, trust me, it's not a good story. You have to go big or go home - and Rowling went big.

Now look at your first page. Step back and be critical. Look at it through a reader's eyes. Ask yourself these questions:

Does it draw you into the story with specifics?

Does it make you ask questions (and make you want to find out the answers)?

Does it have some form of suspense?

Does it promise you that something will happen - something big?

There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.

~ Walter Wellesley Smith